Updated: Oct 23, 2019
Let me preface this by saying, no I have not lost my mind, no I didn't fall off the wagon and yes I still believe in sex after marriage! LOL! But who wouldn't want to know about "Sex that brings you closer"! So this blog is dedicated to sex and the ways that it will bring you closer.
I'm in A&P shopping when I come across this magazine with the words "The Sex That Brings You Closer", so of course I chuckle to myself because we all know Sex sells! Especially to those people who are insecure and need something to help them along the way so they cling to these articles in hopes that it will strengthen their love life. Truth be told, it probably can't and won't! So I'm going to tell you about "The Sex That Brings You Closer to God", because who wouldn't want to be closer to God. The bible gives us clear instructions on sex outside of marriage, so let's start there since most people are fornicating anyway and indulging in sexual immorality because hey, YOLO right! Let's start with Galatians 5.19-21 "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God." Notice that the first thing addressed is sexual immorality, then it goes on to impurity, sensuality, etc - it clearly states that those who indulges in the works of the flesh will not inherit the kingdom. What is sexual immorality exactly, are there some things that can be excluded? I'm glad you asked! Let's break it down shall we! The dictionary describes it as "the evil ascribed to sexual acts that violate social conventions." Evil.. violating social conventions? I'm sure you're saying to yourself, well I don't do anything evil so I'm doing alright on that end, but what about how the bible defines sexual immorality? Surely this includes things such as adultery, for all of us who prefer to sleep with married men/women because there is no attachment and we get lots of material things. Or how about fornication, for those of us in a committed relationship, we love each other and we don't need a paper to tell us that we are married, what about those who say well I'm young and I'm enjoying life because it's short and we are not promised tomorrow. I don't know about you but I would rather enjoy life safely so that I could possibly prolong it as best as I could than live reckless and help death give me an early grave, but that's just my take on the subject. Ok, I digress, back to the topic. So we were discussing what sexual immorality includes, well back in the bible days people were having all kinds of sick and twisted orgies, temple prostitutes, sex with animals, sex during women's menstruation, homosexuality, sex with close relatives, etc. People were having a free for all, well they still do when you think about it. Ephesians 5.3 says "But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints." God is telling us that we need to stay away from sexual immorality, we need to be pure. How can I be pure if I've already had sex, what sense does it make to stop now, I'm already in sin, I might as well continue. This way of thinking is wrong, wrong, wrong! If you are truly sorry for your wrong doing and you repent and ask God for forgiveness - he tells you to go and sin no more. So if you want to flee from sexual immorality, you can recommit your life to God and ask him to help you control your sexual desires, become what they are calling a born again virgin. Why not, we are born again Christians, so why can't we recommit what God has given us to Him and seek his kingdom so that we may be holy and acceptable unto him? We can! God said so! 2 Timothy 2.22 "So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." How about Collosians 3.5 "Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry." He wants you to be holy, set apart, righteous. If he didn't he wouldn't have sent his son to suffer and die on the cross for our sins! 1 Thessalonians 4.3-4 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor..." When Paul traveled to Rome he emphasized this, Romans 12.1-2 "I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." If we are going to be true lovers and followers of Christ we must not fall prey to the way of this world, aren't we in a time where now it's ok to be different. I mean I can remember the days where if you were different you were labeled an outcast, now everyone wants to be different. Well dare to be different out of love and admiration for what Christ has done for you. 1 Corinthians 6.11 gives us the idea of a fresh start "And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." And such as I - but Jesus died so that I can be forgiven and start again. So can you, if you truly want this in your heart of hearts. Ok so now that I have directed you to a few scriptures that tell us clearly how God feels about sex outside of marriage, I'm going to address you, over there in the corner, who says well where in the bible does it say you have to be married? Genesis 2.24 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." In the beginning God introduces us to the idea of marriage with Adam and Eve - he laid with her and they became one flesh, their spirits intertwined and they knew each other. 1 Corinthians 7.1-40 "Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ... " Another clear explanation about where God wants us to be in terms of relationships with one another. God clearly wants and knows what's best for us which is why he created sex within marriage, so that we can of course procreate but also to enjoy one another! He also said don't deprive each other - so for all the women out there reading this who use your goodies as a weapon - CUT IT OUT! LOL! God said so! You don't want Satan coming in and tempting your husband with some other Jezabel do you?! LOL! Seriously though, I could go on and on about why and how, who, what and where but since this is a blog and not a book, I will wrap it up right about here. What does all of this have to do with bringing you closer to God, so glad you are paying attention. Here is the breakdown, it's really simple; for those of us who are virgins and are saving themselves for marriage - great job! Keep up the good work, for those of us who are born again - hang in there you can do it! First: The only way we can get through this period in our lives is through prayer and trust in God - prayer because the flesh is weak and trust because you have to trust that God will bring you that mate who will wait with you and love you like you are supposed to be loved. I know from experience that being celibate is not easy, not by a long shot - it's easy when you don't have a steady in your life because you don't have the temptation in your face. Imagine with me if you will - you are in a relationship with this wonderful person and to top it off they are fine as all get out - whatever that means, lol, I mean they are hot and sexy - when they touch you , you just want to melt and don't find yourselves alone in a romantic setting - forget about it, anything's fair game - how do you resist the temptation of just going for it? PRAY, PRAY, PRAY, kick them out and pray some more! LOL! Ask God to help you keep your mind stayed on him, because if I keep it stayed on my boyfriend/girlfriend my prayer will be a prayer of repentant instead of strength. I'm just saying... nod your head if you agree! Prayer brings you closer to God, the more you talk with him the closer you get and since the flesh is weak I would imagine your prayer life increasing daily! Two: Read the bible and stay away from entertainment that might arouse the flesh. If you are reading the Bible you most likely won't be thinking about sex, you'll be learning about God and how else do you get close to someone, by learning more about them. Well, you will find God all throughout the Bible - this I guarantee! Staying away from tv and books that have all the lovely sex scenes gives you more time to spend with God. He'll love that, I'm a witness, the more time I spend with God, the more clarity I have and the more blessings I receive. So you see, it's simple! The Sex That Brings You Closer is no sex at all until marriage - it will definitely bring you closer to the one who matters the most, God! Matthew 6.33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." Everything!!
Well, I hope you enjoyed my book/blog, I pray that it helps and encourages you to join me on this journey to living a life that is pleasing to God. It's not easy, this I know for sure, but it is so worth it in the end! Feel free to share your thoughts, let me know you were here!